Everything was Better with You
by Newbie-0.0Q
Summary: Every day I keep myself busy. Busy enough to make me forget about you, busy enough to stop all the tears from falling down, busy enough to stop my heart from breaking all over again. Written for Big Time Rush One Shot Day on Feb. 6th 2012


Everything was better with You

**Author's Note: This story was written for Big Time Rush One Shot Day on February 6,2012, which is today. xP**

**It's an OC story. **

**I know this isn't slash. **

**I understand that it may not interest you. **

**Please don't go without reading this.**

**Thanks ;)**

**Disclaimer: ****Remember! I don't own Big Time Rush or anything that is related to the show or anything that is related to real life. Have FUN reading!**

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><p>Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday, every day I try to fill my schedule as much as I can, that way I can forget about you. I keep myself as busy as possible, hoping I can run away from you. I try to exhaust myself as much as I can, so I don't even have the strength to remember you. So all I can do is to overwhelm my brain with dates, times, activities, just so I can stop thinking about you.<p>

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><p>I slowly open the door, fumbling with the keys as I jiggle them out of the keyhole. I push the door close and locking the door, just before I slide down into a sitting position.<p>

"Gosh, today really tired me out," I chuckle, as I push myself up, and using my hands to guide myself into my bedroom.

_That's good, tired is good, I need it; it shuts my mind off…_

I fly onto my bed, the softness of my mattress and sheets surrounding me, hitting my face, my tense body instantly slacking, giving in to the sleep fighting to take me right there and then. I kick off my shoes and socks, dropping my bag to the side and flip the lights off. I fumble with my blanket as my head rubs against the pillow getting myself comfortable as I wait for sleep to fully take me. Yet, my tired mind just doesn't want to surrender me to the land of sweet dreams, and I groan as the image of him comes to mind.

_I ran downstairs at the hearing of my doorbell, excitement fighting to burst. I swung the door open and flung myself onto him, hugging him tightly._

_"You're here! You made it back just in time!" I shouted, the excitement bursting out as I flower him with kisses._

_"Haha, of course I came, you think I will miss my special girl's birthday? What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?" he smiles as he returns my kisses._

_"Well, you are a busy man, keeping in touch with you is already hard, and now I sudden have one full night with you is like… a miracle," I smirk as I release him and walk back inside to grab my purse._

_"Anything for you," he replies, hugging me from behind and giving me a kiss on my head._

_"Haha, I know, so where are we heading to tonight?" I ask, turning around to snuggle against his chest._

_"A special place," he replies, dragging me towards his car._

I groan loudly to bring myself back to reality. I start to shuffle in bed as I try to wave that once happy thought away. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for my eyes start to droop again, and altogether I stop thinking, finally drifting off to sleep.

_Hopefully, tomorrow it will be a better day…_

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><p>I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing, and I groan as my hand pats around my bed finding it. I rub my eyes as I look at the time, 7:23am, and I groan as I press the answer button.<p>

"What's up Camille," I ask with a yawn right after just to tell her that she call me at a very terrible time.

"Hey! Good Morning! If you don't move now you'll be late for work! Just saying," Camille responds with a giggle. I yelp at the word work, quickly flipping through my phone looking at the person calling, the date and schedule. My eyes pop out when I see the word Saturday.

"Camille, today is a Saturday, there's no work on a Saturday," I groan as I flop back down into the warmth of my bed.

"No, you do have work; you are going to help me with my shopping list this morning! So hurry up and get here by 8:00 before I storm over there and slap you silly," Camille threatens, and I sigh at that. Her slapping is really scary sometimes.

"Alright, give me another 5 minutes and I'll get up and head over," I reply, hanging up the phone without saying a goodbye. I shove my head deeper into my pillow as I wait for sleep to come back to me for just another 5 minutes. That's when I figure is the worst move I can ever make, because the faint scent of lavender on my pillow steers my mind into thinking about him again and I groan in frustration.

I quickly get up and spend the next 5 minutes of suppose sleep into checking my phone to see what I have to do today. I've been keeping myself busy as much as I can for the past year now and for some reason this week's schedule is starting to fill itself up faster than I can keep up with it.

"Saturday…Saturday…Saturday…ah this one… ok so Saturday morning, help Camille pick out her darling Steve's birthday present, then have lunch with Kendall, then I have to go to school, then dinner with Carlitos and finally a movie marathon tonight with the James Diamond," I recite as I flip around to see if there are any spare time within the day. Deeming that the only spare time for me is during the driving between places, I quickly jump out of bed and get ready to head over to Camille's before she does slap me silly.

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><p>I stand on Camille's doorstep, taking a breather before ringing the doorbell. I can picture her storming back and forth inside with a nice purple dress on, highlighting the red angry on her face. My breathe hitch in my throat as the door open, and I stare into the fury of her brown eyes.<p>

"Hey…Camille…" I meekly greet as I muster the best smile I can do.

"Yeah, sure, you're late," She greets back; arms cross as she stares me down.

"It's only 8…" I look at my phone, "thirty…" I groan before shutting up. I could have come earlier, but I stumble across his picture, which caught me off guard. I have to take a moment to gather myself together before coming here.

_I flip through the closet to try and find something decent to wear for the day. I haven't exactly done any laundry for the past few days because of my busy schedule, and now I'm running out of clothes to wear._

_"Maybe I should just put of a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and go buy some clothes with Camille," I thought out loud as I push a dress out of my way. I run my hands around in search of a t-shirt, when my hand lands on a white t-shirt. I tug on it, a victory smile scoring a space on my face. I fell back when the closet finally release the shirt. I hold it up to see if the creases aren't that much noticeable when I notice the picture on it. It was the picture of us going to a Simple Plan's concert two year ago, and he told me that he loves me._

_I cried at the thought, setting the t-shirt down. I quickly search for another shirt, head to the shower and cool myself down. I must never think of him again._

"Hey! Hello? Chloe? Anyone there?" Camille cries out bringing me back to the current situation.

"Yeah?" I answer as I look at her again.

"Don't yeah me! We are going to miss the big sale at Tiffany's because you are late!" She screams, swinging a slap at me. I step back and grab her arm, stopping her.

"Hey, if you don't slap me, I can get you there in 10," I reason as I quickly assemble my focus back. She looks at me before taking her arm back and grabbing her purse. She closes the door behind her, ignoring me as she walks to my car and opening the car door.

"I give you 5," She replies before stepping in, and I bolt to the driver's seat and we head to the mall.

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><p>I spend the rest of the morning helping Camille find Steve the best present ever before reasoning with Camille that I have to go meet Kendall. She finally settles for a couples ring.<p>

_At least she kept me off of him. Ah, I'm thinking of him again…_

I shake my head as I drive towards the coffee shop Kendall and I are apparently having lunch soon, when I receive a call. I push the answer button, and then the speaker button.

"Hey Kendall, what's up?" I ask as I round the corner, driving into the parking lot.

"Ah, hey, Jo called and she sounds upset," Kendall starts, the sound of worry dripping.

"So, you want to cancel," I reply, hoping he says no, but pretty sure he is going for yes.

"Well, you know…it's…yeah…" Kendall continues.

"It's fine Kendall. I'll just call Carlos, see if he can have lunch with me instead," I finish, parking the car in the lot.

"Really? Thanks! I'll make it up to you tomorrow," Kendall responds with a cheery voice.

"Tomorrow? You mean…. But tomorrow it's…," I stutter, dread in my eyes. Kendall knows very well what tomorrow is, but he still offers to spend his time with me. I'm not sure if I should accept or not.

"Hey, tomorrow's you're birthday, we should totally celebrate," Kendall smirks, and I can already imagine my head being shoved into a birthday cake.

"Yeah I know but tomorrow is also Valentine's Day, and maybe you will score a date with a certain blond?" I smirk back, knowing that Kendall and Jo are trying to get back together, but just aren't sure about each other yet.

"Well, yeah, but I mean Jo and I aren't exactly you know, so I guess we can…" Kendall mumbles.

"Yeah, and after the comfort session you are giving her in the next hour or so, I'm sure you two will still be friends," I tease into the phone.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Alright, I'll text you about tomorrow later."

"No, we can hang out another time."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'll be fine tomorrow."

"But it's also…"

"Go get your girl eyebrows or I'm calling Jo," I threaten, wanting to shut him up.

"Alright, alright I'll go, call me if you need me tomorrow," he replies before hanging up.

"Good luck and good bye," I reply, hanging up too. I sigh, thinking about tomorrow. I haven't thought that tomorrow was here so soon. I shake my head and quickly text Carlos, asking if he can do lunch with me instead of dinner, before heading inside the coffee shop and grabbing us a lunch. I receive a reply saying that Carlos is still working and he will meet me later in the park, so I head over there to wait for him.

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><p>I lie down on a green grassy field, placing the lunch beside me. I squint my eyes as the sun beams down at me, making me instantly bring my hand over my eyes. My fingers clench and open ever so often; blocking out the sun yet letting a few rays through the slits. I close my eyes, and place my hand on my stomach, as I soak in the sunlight. I feel the warmth touching my skin, sending a nice vibe throughout my body, a feeling that I haven't had for a while now, not since he left.<p>

_I storm out of the restaurant unable to stand being in there for another second. He chases after me, yelling my name, yet I refuse to turn around and answer him._

_"Wait please, don't go!" he yells, over and over again, his pace gaining speed and reaching closer towards me._

_"No! Leave me alone! This is not how I want to spend my night, let alone my birthday," I scream back, stopping in my tracks as I turn around, tears streaking down my cheeks._

_"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't know one stupid phone call with Gustavo means an invitation to have dinner with us. Please, please don't go," he begs as he wraps me in his arms._

_"One day out of all the days of the year, Gustavo Rocque has to come and ruin it for me, how am I suppose to refrain from killing him during dinner?" I pout as I hug him back. He chuckles at my response, placing a kiss on my forehead._

_"Let's go back?" he hesitantly asks after a moment of hugging._

_"Ok, but don't expect me to be nice to him. Even if he is 3 times bigger than me," I reply, holding his hand and walking back towards the restaurant. That's when I realize a pair of bright light shining towards us._

"Hey," I hear someone say and I turn my head to my left and stares into a pair of sparkling brown eyes.

"Hey Carlos," I reply, giving him a warm smile before turning back, and staring into the sun again. For a second there, I thought I stare into his eyes, causing my tears to slide down the edge of my eyes. I hope the sun can dry the tears away before Carlos finds out.

"So what's for lunch," the boy whines, as he grabs my arm and pulling me upwards. I chuckle at the forever cheerful Carlos, making me forget about that night. I shuffle into a comfortable sitting position before looking at the smiling black-haired boy.

"You ok?" Carlos asks as he digs through the bag of food.

"I...I'm fine," I reply as I shove my hand into the bag and grab a sandwich.

"Hey I want the turkey, and no you are not fine," Carlos whines as he reaches for my sandwich.

"I'm fine Carlos really, and hey I want the turkey," I laugh as I fight for the sandwich. I really didn't care if I eat turkey or ham; I just need the fight as a distraction for my mind. I finally give in to Carlos' pouting and let him have the turkey, but not without taking a bite.

"Hey! Ah well, at least I get to eat turkey, and don't think you made me forget what we were talking about. I can see the pain in your eyes," Carlos pouts as he eats his sandwich, and taking a sip of his coffee.

I stare at my sandwich, not sure what to say, but I know for sure that I don't want to admit to him that he is right. It's better that way.

"Carlos, I'm fine really, I am. Like you said a year ago…it isn't my fault. It was an accident. And look I'm laughing and talking to you, keeping myself busy every day, and moving on with my life. There's no more pain just happy cheerful me," I reply, hoping my little lie can fool him. He stares at me, as every word goes through a process state in his mind.

"Carlos, I'm fine." I snap, sitting up and crossing his arms.

Carlos sighs as he chews at his sandwich and stares at the kids at the playground. I mimic his movement, taking a sip from my latte.

"I hope so," Carlos finally responds, finishing the rest of his lunch before getting up and throwing our trash away. I walk after him, heading towards my car.

"Because you deserve to be happy," he finishes as he steps inside his car and drives away.

I look after him until his car disappears from view, before stepping into my car.

_I wish I can Carlos, I really do. But I still remember that night, the night that he left. It still haunts me every night, playing again and again like an endless record._

I rear out of the park, and drive towards my classes, knowing they can occupy my mind for the rest of the afternoon.

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><p>I spend the rest of the afternoon taking cooking classes, baking and making what can actually be my dinner tonight. I drive home to get ready to meet James, who is coming over to for movie night. Just like the other people today, he must be worried about me, and about tomorrow.<p>

"AH, can we stop talking about tomorrow and just let me get over today?" I groan, as I step inside my house. I turn around to close the door, when a hand slips through and ruffles my hair.

"What about getting over today?" a voice asks, as I open the door to allow the person in.

"Nothing James, I'm just grouchy because of lack of sleep this week," I reply, closing the door and locking it once he walks in.

"And then there's me cutting into your bedtime," James pouts as he reaches to unlock the door, ready to leave.

"No! Stay please! I need someone to spend dinner with me and movie night too," I reason as I tug on his arm.

_Besides, I need a tired me. I need an exhausting sleep, a deep enough sleep that can last me until tomorrow, so I don't have dream about him…_

"Alright, if you say so! You have no idea how starve I am," James replies, winking at me as he walking over to the kitchen, and checking out what I made for dinner. I quickly set the table and spread out all the food. He and I flop onto the couch and flip the television on, switching to our channel.

We start to watch Transformers, then Alvin and the Chipmunks, and then The Notebook.

I can't help myself but cry when I find out that Allie has dementia. Tears trickle down my cheeks as that information hits me. I feel James' arm move around and wrap me in a hug.

"If…if…if only…" I whimper out, unable to hold it in, but I must. I've been trying to hold it all in for a year now, and this one movie is not going to break me.

"Hey it's ok, it's only a movie. Ah we shouldn't have watched this, stupid chick flick," James sighs as he runs a hand up and down my arm. I sniffle a bit, pulling myself together. I wipe my tears away as I playful slap him in the chest.

"I let you know this is one awesome chick flick. You have no heart if you don't think this is sad," I argue, grabbing my drink.

"Yeah it's sad, and I do have a heart, but we shouldn't be watching this, not when you…" he trails off, not sure if he should continue.

"Yeah I know about tomorrow, and I'm going to be fine," I reply, my focus going back to the movie.

"I know you are going to be fine, but should I… you know… join you?" James asks.

"No, I want to be alone."

"Chloe."

"Yes."

"I can come?"

"No."

"But you just said yes."

"No, I said yes to answer you calling my name."

"Oh. So can I still come?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be fine!"

"Fine," James puffs, crossing his arms as we finish watching the movie. Silence fell between us as the credits roll up. James doesn't seem to want to leave, but my body is telling me it's time for bed.

"James, I'm tired," I say as I get up from the couch and clean up the area.

"I'm tired too," James responds stretching out on the couch and getting ready to sleep. I whack him in the head to wake him up.

"Go home and sleep. I bet Katie is at home waiting for you," I smirk knowing that Katie will surely go crazy if he doesn't get home in time.

"Ah, what time is it?" James asks as he bolts towards the door.

"10:36pm," I reply as I throw the dishes into the dish washer.

"Ah, I got to head home before 11. See you later," he responds walking out the door, and slamming it shut. I look at the door, smiling at the love James has for Katie. It's funny how they can express so much love for each other, yet continue to say they are just friends.

"Love is such a hard concept to understand," I sigh, as I walk to lock the door. I head towards my bedroom to get ready for the night.

_Tomorrow's the big day…I can do this…if I can't… I can always find something to do…keep me busy…forget about you…_

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><p><em>The bright light shines brighter and brighter as it approaches us, the seconds ticking past so slowly those seconds could have turn into minutes. I scream as I feel my body fly to one side, my head banging hard against the concrete of a building. Blood start to drip down my forehead as I whip around to see where he is, if he is alright, but instead I turn around just in time to see a car slam into him, flipping and crashing into the street. Shock run through me as I try to process what is happening, calming myself to stay focus, breathing to slow the adrenaline rising in my body.<em>

_No…No…No…This isn't happening…_

_That line runs in my mind over and over again as I slowly stand up and walk over to the body lying on the ground. I slowly collapse beside him unable to hold in the tears fighting to fall down._

_I break down. I cry. I scream. I drag him into my arms, and shout NO._

_But he isn't respond, isn't move, isn't breathing._

_And this all happen because I ran, I complained, I refused. All because of me._

I wake up at 7am in the morning, forehead sweating slightly because of the dream I had last night. The rerun of that night still lingers in my mind as I get up and head to the showers. I guess one good thing about the dream is that it woke me up early enough to fit the visit into my schedule, so I head towards the flower garden near the park for a fresh bouquet of Forget-Me-Not flowers. I smile at the irony of the flowers, they being his favourite, and me being the one who is trying to forget, but cannot because he ask me to.

_Does that even make sense? Whatever, I better get there before my day starts…not that I have anything special to do…_

I drive towards the town cemetery, parking my car at the parking lot. I walk up the endless stairs towards him, the one that held my heart for all this time, the one that I try again and again to forget, but always end up remembering. I walk up to his grave, and place the flowers down. I wet a piece of cloth with my water bottle, and kneel down to wipe at the gravestone.

"Hey," I say, smiling as my fingers run over each letter of his name. Hortense Logan Mitchell, died February 14th, 2011. I slide the cloth over his picture, wiping the dirt away. His smile shines through the faded picture, bringing warmth to my heart. His beautiful black eyes stare back at me as if trying to remember every detail of me, his lopsided grin hiding his nervousness.

_Just like the first time I saw you…shy…cute… innocent…_

"How have you been this whole year? You meet any cool girls in the afterlife?" I ask, as I lay my head on his grave. The sun shines down on me at just the right angle, making me feel like I'm in his arms again, hugging me close as we both stare towards the sky.

"You know, I've been busy this year. Going on business trips, spending time with friends, taking a lot of educational classes, you know I learn how to make your favourite ice cream by hand now," I chuckle as I look up at his picture, a goofy smile on my face.

_I try…I really do…but somehow everything is about you…_

"You know, I got so busy that I almost forgot about you, but you somehow remind me, telling me to don't push you away. So here I am, seeing you again, struggling to not cry," I say, tears trickling down with each word. I turn around to stare at the sun, feeling its strong rays hitting me, and that's when I realise something.

_I never forgot, never can forget; never will forget, because you have my heart._

I laugh at the thought, not sure if it is because I still love him or because I'm punishing myself for what happened. Either way I can never forget about Logan.

"See what you did? I'm crying now, and you know I look ugly when I cry. So…I'm going to leave and get busy again, because that's the only way I can let my mind forget about you and continue on with my life. So goodbye for now my love," I say again, getting up. I look at the grave, letting myself see his face one last time before turning around and walking away.

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><p>Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, every time I stop to take a breather, I always end up thinking about you. No matter how much I run away from you, I always steer back. No matter how tired I am, my mind always has the strength to remember you. So all I can do is stay busy, to occupy my mind with random things, just so I can stop thinking about you.<p>

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><p><strong>So...This is my first OC one shot...I'm not sure if it's good or not, so please review and tell me because it will really help my self esteem in writing. :)<strong>

**I want to take this space here to thank xxxkia for checking this story twice and ending her help with the word awesome. AND THEN giving me an awesome title cuz mine was lame (I thought of I'll be Fine as long as I'm busy...yeah totally not...sigh... she also help me with the summary too...oH My without her this story will never be PUBLISHED!...thank you :*D)**

**Thank you and love you GAL! thanks for the support and listening to me freak out over stupid things like what should the OC's name be or which pairing should my ideas be based on and stuff and stuff and stuff...**

**So review!**

**NEWBIE OUT!**


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